So I finally got tired of this weird little two step PP and I have been doing. We are talking every couple of days and every time it’s the same thing. Maybe we can do something together soon. Maybe we’ll have free time at the same time. Maybe maybe maybe. This guy really is the Prince of Possible. Poor dude doesn’t know that will someday make him the King of Absolutely Nothing.
So I lost my temper a little and wrote him an email. It was polite, but clearly said that I actually had no idea what he wanted or where he was going with this since we only ever went on one tiny date. And I asked him point blank if he was just trying to be friends or wanted to try dating or what. Because when I lose patience I get direct. It usually gets me an answer… although whether I like it or not is another story.
He did answer, in the same day even. He wants to keep talking and try dating and see where it goes. He knows he’s been a pain. He’s sorry. Blahblahblah. Then he went on to call me that night to reinforce his position. What he doesn’t know is that it was sadly ineffective as still no date was planned.
So here’s the bottom line. It’s fun talking to him and all, but I am not investing any energy or effort into this whatever the hell it is. Or isn’t. Because he’s not worth it at this stage. If he wants more from me, he’ll have to give me more first. Until then, I’ll talk if he calls.
I am possibly a bitch. But whatever.


June 26, 2008 at 8:00 am
I don’t think you’re a bitch. I think “effort” is a fair assessment and asumption on the part of the other party. I feel exactly like you do right now. Stick with it!
Sometimes I think I’m just too old to waste time with people anymore. And unless something gives, he feels like a bit of a waste.
June 26, 2008 at 9:24 am
You’ve been very understanding and accommodating with not an ounce of bitch. If he’s able to talk to you for hours on the phone, he’s able to do so in person, no? By availing yourself to endless chitchat, you’re enabling him to continue with his inaction. Unless you’re happy for the status quo to remain, I personally don’t think it’s at all bitchy to withdraw from conversation until he is able to make time to meet. And I bet he’ll jump into action straight away.
Excellent point. We’ll see how it goes.
June 26, 2008 at 11:04 am
Sounds like a good plan to me.
Thanks.
June 26, 2008 at 11:23 am
A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do!
#1
Girls just wanna have fun?
June 26, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Not a bitch… if he calls then talk with him, if a date is planned, then go, if, if, if,,, then in the mean time ENJOY yourself…. make it about you and just go with it…
Sometimes I get so tired of “if”. Ho hum.
June 26, 2008 at 4:25 pm
You’re totally not a bitch. If you don’t expect anything, you can’t be disappointed. If he does want something here, he can show you the money (not literally, but…) first.
Those are two rules a true One Date Wonder lives by. Totally.
June 26, 2008 at 6:53 pm
I am in the same boat so I understand..I have been dating a guy for almost a month (About 6 dates in total) but I still have no idea how he feels, I have been trying to play it real cool by not calling too much, reacting to his actions instead of being on the offensive(not sure if this is a good thing) but I still am at a loss. We have never had a convo about us and I am not sure if I want to yet…is it too soon?
And ps–you are not a bitch, you just know what you want. I like your stance on career coming first and I also think that a modern women has a right to choose who to date, what she wants in a man and how to go about it. But when do the games end????? I am getting a headache from all this strategy..
Hang tight, I’m going to answer this in more detail.
June 26, 2008 at 8:58 pm
YOu’re so not a bitch. I mean maybe you are but not about this!
I’ve reached that point with the guy that I went out with too. If you can’t make even the smallest commitment of time for one date how can you ever expect to try to form a relationship.
Heh, so I am a bitch, just not for this. Thanks lady. Glad you’ve got my back.
June 26, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Blah. Blahblahblah blahblah blahblahblahblah. In other words, I’ve come to the following realization: If you ain’t feeling it, you ain’t feeling it. End of story. Good night. Or, to decipher my half drunk blog comment: Sometimes it just isn’t there. If I feel like it’s an effort, it probably is and, as much as I hate to say it, IMO, dating (especially the first stages of dating) should not be that much of an effort. Am I making sense, or are the martini’s still talking?
I guess my problem is that it’s never been easy for me. Never. Not even once. These easy relationships are like a unicorn to me. Mythical.
June 27, 2008 at 5:33 am
Yeah move right along methinks. Im a bit impatient like that too. Make yourself a bit more unavailable by getting on with your life and dating and if that puts a fire cracker up him good, if not, no loss.
I told him last night that I gave up trying to schedule things with him. If he wants a date, he’ll have to ask, plan, and execute. And if he can manage that, then I’ll think about pitching in to help out.
June 27, 2008 at 9:30 am
Yeah.. he’s giving you a lot of “yadda.. yadda.. yadda..” and you are a woman of ACTION so I think you called it right, girlie!
Time to seek other dates!
Besides.. the King of Absolutely Nothing makes for boring blogging.. ha..ha.ha…
Finding dates uses so much energy! Dammit.
June 27, 2008 at 11:07 am
Sounds to me like dude’s not ready to date, or is going through something that probably has nothing to do with you. Either way, probably smart to take a big step back.
Sucky.
Boys stink.
June 27, 2008 at 11:49 am
You are not a bitch. Trust me. I know because I am a bitch.:) You are not wrong for recognizing what you want from a potential relationship and what you don’t. Call a bitch, would you?!!!!!
Oh I am so a bitch. This just might not be one of the reasons why.
June 27, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Dude. Whether or not you’re a bitch is moot. What matters: he’s not showing interest. Until he does, *shrugs* don’t bother with him. He either wants to date you or he doesn’t and you (I’m sure) have better things to do than wait for him to call.
Oh yeah, I have way better things to do. Like plan for Vegas baby.