Something in the air Friday, May 2 2008

There is something in the air here at One Date Wonderland, and I would seriously like to find something that will kill it. But, at least it makes for fun stories!

First it was my ex-husband. He reappeared and started trying to get back in touch to be “friends”. There some some blather about how it had been a year, tough choices were made, he was second-guessing. It was all very vomit-worthy. The third time I sent him packing I thought he was gone. (Especially since I told him he was being extremely rude to his live-in girlfriend of almost a year.) Until he IMed me a few days later. For the record? I simply ignored it.

Then it was The Philosopher. I think I have neglected to tell our story here, so I will save that for another time. Just know that we have been back and forth since November, although after a bad bedroom incident, I stopped communication. Still, he calls. Last night, he called. I am not responding.

Also last night, The Insinuator returned! He started IMing me, and I seriously could not be bothered to even answer. This is how the one-sided exchange proceeded:

Him: Hi Jane long time no hear, how are you?
Him: I hope you still remember me
Him: hope you are not ignoring me… I just want to say hello, thats all
Him: ok bye then

Yes, bye then. Please don’t come back.

Are we quite finished now? Because I truly could not be less interested in any of these men. Fascinating how I could have an unattractive, passive aggressive guy who’s bad in bed any day of the week. But a real live decent man? Yeah right. Anyway, pass the Lysol. Or something.

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Insinuator Backfire Friday, Jan 18 2008

Had a nice chat with The Insinuator last night. I had told him I didn’t know about Saturday because the weather was dicey and he wanted to walk around outside. He wrote back and said he saw my point and maybe we should just reschedule. Apparently that was Insinuator-speak for “you plan something to do inside then”. I didn’t take the bait.

So last night he catches me on IMs and asks what’s up for Saturday. I tell him nothing. He gets confused and clarifies that he is asking what we are doing. I told him I understood the question and the answer is still nothing. The Insinuator is momentarily confused by such directness. So I rush in and tell him that my next few weekends are all booked up too. After all, if he doesn’t understand the direct approach, perhaps mutual insinuation is the way to go here?

He says to let him know when I have a Friday or Saturday night free. I tell him I will and then hop offline. Sure I will. The day he learns to be direct, that is.

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The Insinuator Thursday, Jan 17 2008

You know what I am really learning to hate? The man who lacks the balls to just outright tell you something is bothering him and instead must insinuate that you are in the wrong. If you think I screwed up, muster the intestinal fortitude to tell me so. If I have an explanation, I’ll offer it. If not, I’ll apologize. But if you insist on being passive aggressive and weird about it, don’t expect me to fall at your feet drooling “I’m sorry”s.

Consider, if you will, the situation at hand. The Insinuator wanted to go out last weekend (before all insinuating had occurred). He asked when I was free. I told him that at that moment, I was open Friday night, Saturday night, or Sunday day. I also told him that my schedule was subject to change, as always. Later on, The Stalker (before all stalker tendencies surfaced) asked me out for Friday night. I said yes. Of course, The Insinuator comes back a day or two later with Friday night as his choice.

Now, I tried to be nice. I apologized when I shouldn’t really have done so. I explained that something else had come up, the other times were still free if he was interested, and said I was still genuinely interested in meeting him. And the insinuating began. First he felt the need to tell me how he was now working Friday night. He doesn’t usually you see, but decided he would switch shifts as a favor to a co-worker since I had canceled on him. Then I was treated to a long explanation as to how he doesn’t really like working weekend shifts. Then I was told about how he had no other free time that weekend. Then we rescheduled for the following Saturday. Fine, story over, right? Wrong.

Then he got stuck being on call on Saturday evening. He felt the need to write a long email explaining how even though I had flaked on him the previous weekend (softened, I suppose by the ubiquitous LOL), this was not tit for tat behavior on his part. And would I mind Saturday afternoon instead. As a matter of fact I’m free Saturday afternoon, but not for a date with The Insinuator. I wrote back to tell him in no uncertain terms that I did not flake on him. He took his time responding to the planning email and my calendar filled up while he did so. (My schedule waits for no man.) I told him my schedule can be rather fluid at times and if that was going to be a problem he needed to say so up front.

The Insinuator, of course, ignores the direct approach. He will probably email me in three days with a vague reference to me being hostile. Which is just as well since I won’t be going out with him anyway. Insinuate that.

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